Walter On Over-Talk, Gossip, and Lies
On Over-Talk, Gossip
and Lies
January 16, 2005
Dear Paul,
Some things
are better said by an outsider than a family member. There is less to lose! So
I am glad to flap my lips on the topic of the tongue. There are few parts of
our body more skilled and adept at falling into sin than our tongues. James
said,
James
3: 4-6 " Look at the ships also: though they
are so large and are driven by strong winds, they are guided by a very small
rudder wherever the will of the pilot directs. So also the tongue is a small
member, yet it boasts of great things. How great a forest is set ablaze by such
a small fire! And the tongue is a fire, a world of unrighteousness. The tongue
is set among our members, staining the whole body, setting on fire the entire
course of life, and set on fire by hell."
A man can
start a fire various ways. A little match, a blow torch or a flame thrower... and
the tongue can be any one of these. (They all start fires... just some a little
faster than others!) It's my opinion there are three big tongue-traps everybody
has to flee.
I.
First: The Match - Talking Too Much (Overtalk)
We moderns
live in a talking age - not much is being said... but everywhere I go lips are
wagging faster than a beagle's tail. Talk radio, talk TV, talk this and talk
that. And lots of Christians are caught right up into it - turning 3 minute
phone conversations into 30 minute gabfests and making 10 minute meetings last
100 minutes too long. All that talk yet not much seems to be getting done!
You might think
this is nothing but a personality issue - after all, don't some have the "gift
of the gab?" Well, according to Solomon, gabbing's a
gall not a gift.
Proverbs
18:2 A fool takes no pleasure in
understanding, but only in expressing his [own] opinion.
Proverbs
10:19 When
words are many, transgression is not lacking...
Too much talk
leads only to trouble.
Proverbs
10:8 ...a babbling fool will come to ruin.
One of the
first lessons a person needs to learn concerning their speech is to restrain
it.
Proverbs 21:23 Whoever keeps his mouth and his tongue / keeps himself out of trouble.
Proverbs
13:3 Whoever guards his mouth preserves his
life; he who opens wide his lips comes to ruin.
Proverbs 10:19 When words are many, transgression is not lacking... but whoever restrains
his lips is prudent [wise].
Now I realize
that some things in life are tricky - especially when you're trying to figure
out how to live godly in our present day. So let me be
as practical as I can in telling you how it is you are to guard or restrain
your mouth. It has two parts to it and it is very complicated, so, Paul, please
read this part very slowly...
1.
Keep Your Mouth Closed
Proverbs
17:28 Even
a fool who keeps silent is considered wise; when he closes his lips, he is
deemed intelligent.
I've been in
company where a man sets out to impress his fellows by yapping all about this
and that as if he were some expert on everything. My, oh my, there's a bucket
of embarrassment ready to fall on his head! For as sure as he picks one topic
to wax eloquent on, there is a tried and true expert in the crowd to set him
straight.
All sorts of
folks up here used to think Mr. McQuilkin was a wise
and deep man - but that was more because of the few number of words he said in
a day, than what those words were. Truth is, he was
rather simple in his learning - but awful wise in his conversation.
Sometimes the
best advice is: Zip it! Lock it! Stick it in Your Pocket!
The door into
your house is a useful thing. But if you leave it open too long the heat of
your furnace will invite itself out and the squirrels and mice will invite
themselves in. Keep that door open to a minimum and all goes well. What a world
of hurt could be avoided by a man or woman just using their lips for the
necessary! If we could somehow harness the energy of some folks
mouths we could stop burning fossil fuels! Everybody would do good to once a day not talk when they feel
like talking... just for the practice!
Now, the second
part is like unto it:
2.
Think Before You Speak
Some folks
assume the road to honesty is paved with saying whatever pops into their heads.
Well, between my flesh and the devil, there's a whole lot that pops into my
head that ain't worth repeating to a deaf mule. I
side with Solomon on this one:
Proverbs
15:28 The
heart of the righteous ponders how to answer, but the mouth of the wicked pours
out evil things.
Proverbs
18:13 If
one gives an answer before he hears, it is his folly and
shame.
Proverbs
29:20 Do you see a man who is hasty in his
words? There is more hope for a fool than for him.
Proverbs
12:18 There
is one whose rash words are like sword thrusts, but the tongue of the wise
brings healing.
A man who
answers quick with lots of words is like a blind man
swinging a broad sword. He rarely hits his target, but is guaranteed to do lots
of damage in the trying. Sure, a person could cocoon up and not ever allow his
words to open the door to his heart - I am not suggesting that! Keep your barn
door shut and you'll keep trouble far away. Why? Because one of the
first nursery rhymes we learned was full of lies:
"Sticks and
stones may break my bones,
But names can
never hurt me."
Now that
there is just not true! There is a power in the tongue.
Proverbs
18:21 Death
and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its
fruits.
We need to
picture our tongues as loaded pistols with hair-triggers. I know you city folk
don't get to shooting guns a lot (at least I hope not!), but if you ever have,
you will know that once you shoot a weapon, you fear it all
the more. See what a shotgun does to a dear and you'll know what it could do to
you. A man only needs to be beat up by his lover's tongue once to know how bad
it hurts... and to learn to never do the same with his own. At least, that is
what you'd think he would learn! But like most things, we tend to think the
pain we feel is a lot worse than any we could inflict. A man who lashes others
with the whip between his teeth will continually eat the fruit of it in his own
life.
Proverbs
11: 9 With his mouth the godless man would
destroy his neighbour, but by knowledge the righteous are delivered.
The first and
best defence against this kind of sin is to learn to keep your lips together
and your head on top of your heart. Stop
talking. Think before you speak.
II.
Second: The Blow Torch - Talking About Others
Another trap
for our tongues is gossip. What is it that makes those silly magazines and
so-called "news programs" so attractive to so many?
Proverbs
18:8 The words of a whisperer
[gossip/talebearer] are like delicious morsels; they go down into the inner
parts of the body. (repeated 26:22)
It's more
than difficult to keep the maple sugar candy in my pocket out of my mouth. And
nothing is as tempting to an itchy ear as hearing all about Jill's problems
with Jack. Tales about another told "in confidence" make us feel powerful and
self-righteous. The words of a gossip are like a bite of your favourite
dessert... pleasing to the flesh and the belly. But the richest desserts often
spoil the best meals.
Mr. Spurgeon
said, "The gossip is the devil's bellows cramp blowing up the fire of strife."
Have you ever been to a blacksmith's shop kids? Have you seen that great big
windbag cranking up the heat of the fire? A gossip is a windbag - stirring up
coals of distrust, betrayal, exaggeration and lies.
The gossip is
a silent killer - like a cancer spreading through the body until one day some
pain is felt and a wide pollution is discovered.
Proverbs
16:28 A
dishonest man spreads strife, and a whisperer separates close friends.
Few things
stab as deep as a confidence betrayed. A few simple words have started divisions,
feuds and wars. Some families have split in two over a confidence betrayed! A
gossiping sister may do more harm than 10 trained soldiers.
Proverbs
17:9 Whoever covers an offence seeks love, but
he who repeats a matter separates close friends.
You kids need
to learn now to run far away from the story tellers and talebearers that come
along your path! Gossip is like the flu - it's hard to be around it for very
long without catching it. And you know how the Devil works; he often lets our
first few stumblings into sin go quite well - nobody
finds out and nobody seems to get hurt. Then he tricks us into thinking that it
really must be okay to sin like this - it's no big deal. The next thing you
know, you're the biggest windbag on your block - ruining friendships and
wreaking havoc.
Proverbs
11:13 Whoever
goes about slandering reveals secrets, but he who is trustworthy in spirit
keeps a thing covered.
Proverbs
12:23 A
prudent man conceals knowledge...
I think it is
good for you kids to keep secrets every once in a while... the good kind! You
could go home tonight and think of something nice you'd like to do for mom or
dad in a few days. Then tell it to each other, but don't tell mom and dad. It's
a secret!! You'll get some practice at keeping your mouth closed and your
secret hidden and that'll serve you well when you get older and need to keep
something really important between you and yourself alone.
Proverbs
26:20 For lack of wood the fire goes out, and
where there is no whisperer, quarrelling ceases.
Take away the
fuel and fire won't burn. The way to cure gossip is to refuse to listen to it -
whether from your neighbour or your television. The next thing is to seek the
forgiveness of the one you slandered every time you do gossip. A big slice of
humble pie can go a long way to making you think twice before whispering again.
These are not
just little character flaws we are talking about here - they are serious
things. Jesus never gossiped and never talked too much and every good Christian
ought to have it in his heart not to just do what Jesus said but to follow His
ways of living too.
Now, let me
be very dangerous and suggest that this is a sin that more ladies may struggle
with than men. Did I just write "all women are gossips?" Not at all! Mrs.
Walter is one of the most discreet and trustworthy people I know! But there
must be some reason behind the fact that when Paul spoke of this sin in the New
Testament, he gave special warning to deacon's wives, older women and younger
widows (1 Tim 3:11, Titus 2:3, 1 Tim 5:13). Some sins are more apt to be
committed by men and some sins are more apt to be committed by women. I don't
like saying it, but ladies I think it is worth considering if you might be a
talebearer.
III. Third:
The Flame Thrower - Lying Talk
Now there is
one more big sin that out tongues love to love - the sin of lying.
Proverbs
12: 22 Lying
lips are an abomination to the Lord, but those who act faithfully are his
delight.
Proverbs
6:16 There
are six things that the Lord hates, seven that are an abomination to him: à the second of which is " a lying
tongue"
It's no
surprise! Remember Jesus' words to the Pharisee's:
John
8:44 You
are of your father the devil, and your will is to do your father's desires. He
was a murderer from the beginning, and has nothing to do with the truth,
because there is no truth in him. When he lies, he speaks out of his own
character, for he is a liar and the father of lies.
The first
thing Satan did was lie to Eve and the first thing Adam did was lie to God. The
first thing so many of us do is lie to each other. But the liar has much to be
afraid of!
Proverbs
12:19 Truthful
lips endure forever, but a lying tongue is but for a moment.
Proverbs
17:20 A
man of crooked heart does not discover good, and one with a dishonest tongue
falls into calamity.
Proverbs
12:13 An
evil man is ensnared by the transgression of his lips, but the righteous
escapes from trouble.
Mr.
Shakespeare called it a tangled web when we lie... Walter calls it a mess. We've
all been there at least once, piling up lie after lie, one on another, until
the whole stack of cards falls down on top of us. The liar will get caught -
either here or in heaven. Most of the time it will be here.
And that is no pleasant bit of business...
Proverbs
19:9 A false witness will not go
unpunished, and he who breathes out lies will perish.
Proverbs
19:5 A
false witness will not go unpunished, and he who breathes out lies will not
escape.
The Lord
promises nothing but pain and sorrow to the liar. You kids need to listen very
carefully to this part. I've known boys and girls who lied like rugs and never
learned to stop. The older they got, the less they got caught and the better
they lied. But life was a misery for them. They didn't even know who they were
since there whole life was pretend. Give me an honest man who makes honest
mistakes and commits honest sins any day. But keep the liar out of my barn and
off my land.
To make it
extra plain and simple, Paul wrote it this way:
Colossians
3:9 Do not lie to one another, seeing that
you have put off the old self with its practices...
Ephesians 4:25 Therefore, having put away falsehood, let each
one of you speak the truth with his neighbour, for we are members one of
another.
Lies are the
mark of the devil and the breath of the corpse. When Christians lie, they are
acting like the dead person they used to be and they bring shame on the Name
that bought them. There is just no room for lies in the
Now reading
all this you might think the only solution is to take your best knife to your
tongue and lop it off! Fact is, that wouldn't help at
all, because your tongue is connected to your heart... and everything that comes
out of your mouth had its birth in your heart. The mouth of a person is just
the fastest way to see into his heart. Jesus said it this way:
Mark
7:14 And
he called the people to him again and said to them, "Hear me, all of you, and
understand: 15 There is nothing outside a person that by
going into him can defile him, but the things that come out of a person are
what defile him." 17 And when he had entered the house and left the
people, his disciples asked him about the parable. 18
And he said to them,
"Then are you also without understanding? Do you not see that whatever goes
into a person from outside cannot defile him, 19
since it enters not his
heart but his stomach, and is expelled?" (Thus he declared all foods clean.) 20 And
he said, "What comes out of a person is what defiles him. 21 For
from within, out of the heart of man, come evil thoughts, sexual immorality,
theft, murder, adultery, 22 coveting, wickedness,
deceit, sensuality, envy, slander, pride, foolishness. 23 All
these evil things come from within, and they defile a person."
I suppose
that begs the question: "What is your speech telling you about your heart?"
Matthew
12: 34b For out
of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks. 35
The good person out of
his good treasure brings forth good, and the evil person out of his evil
treasure brings forth evil. 36 I tell you, on the day of
judgment people will give account for every careless word they speak, 37
for by your words you will be justified, and by your words you will be
condemned."
Talking too
much, talking about others, and talking lies are the three big sins of our
lips. Is your mouth a match, a torch, a flame-thrower... or is it a fountain of
life (Pr 10:11 )? Next time I write I will try to
describe the positive side of the matter - but for now, heed the warning and
look at your heart, won't you? Your only hope, as always, is Jesus alone. We
need new hearts and a new standing before God - He gives them both. Trust in
Him!
Your
Friend,
Walter
P.S. If you've
got any extra snow-ploughs down there - send them up! We are buried!!